5 Ways to Deal With People Who Have Hurt You

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I've been so busy the past two weeks, working on a series of blogs digesting my whereabouts and some articles that I wanted to share when I found myself just reading my lists because I really don't know where and how to start. So while conditioning my thoughts and preparing myself for another blog roll, I thought of sharing an article from one of my favorites, The Praying Woman. The message is just so timely and these are just some of the learnings in life that I've been applying in my day to day struggle with people from all walks of life. It is true, that you can’t control how others treat you, but you can control how you respond to them. Hope you'll find these applications useful.

[Reblogged] How to deal with people who have hurt you?


NIP IT IN THE BUD

Sometimes people are unaware of just how offensive or hurtful something they’ve said or done really is. You may be holding a grudge towards someone who means no harm. The only way to be sure is to have a conversation with that person to let them know how you’re feeling. I don’t mean, a shouting match, but a grown up conversation where both parties are willing to listen to each other. You’d be surprised what a civilized conversation can fix.

UNDERSTAND IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S THEM

Remember that there will almost always be somebody who adores everything about you and says only nice things about you, and someone who hates everything about you and has nothing nice to say about you. You’ll never be perfect. Jesus was perfect, and they STILL hated Him.

DON'T TRY TO GET EVEN

“Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord.”- Romans 12:19 

Tit for tat only makes you as wrong as them. When you let people get you out of character, you give them power and when you give them power, you give them the power to take your focus off Christ. Don’t let anyone’s hate, drama, and negativity keep you from being the person God wants you to be.

FORGIVE THE OFFENSE

Sometimes we have to learn to accept an apology we never got and Forgive them even if they are not sorry. 

Life is complicated enough without trying to figure out why one person is always putting you down, always trying to contradict you, always taking cheap shots at you or always saying and doing things to hurt you. Move into a place of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not about the other person; it’s about you giving yourself the permission to emotionally move on from someone who has hurt you and taking back your happiness.

PRAY

While it is important for us to pray for guidance and a forgiving heart, The bible also says that we are to pray for those who persecute us. I know… when you’re hurting, praying for your persecutor is the last thing on your mind. Don’t knock it till you try it. It’s so liberating.

Yes, it has always been experienced by most, that no matter how hard or strong you claim to be, the actions of others can sometimes hurt you. Some people may try to tough it out and will pretend the words of others don’t effect them, but the truth of the matter is… sometimes they do! 

I have this "been-there-done-that" situation years back, and it was really a hard time for me dealing with provoking people and every now and then they just pop out from nowhere and they intentionally or sometimes unintentionally trigger your character for no reasons. The ways mentioned above were just some of the things that I practice and I tell you this, keeping those in mind and the personal application is truly life changing. I was changed and I know I can continue this response and I might change others as well. For God wants us to be the kind of person He always want us to be. 

So what do you do when you’ve been offended, mistreated, or hurt?

Understand. Forgive. Pray


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